Monday, October 11, 2010

Top Ten Tuesday: Books I'll "Never" Read

Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish. This week's question is to list your top 10 books that you will never read.

I put quotes around never for a very good reason. I learned at a very early age NOT to say never. Once I say "I will never [...]," I have found some weird, unforeseen circumstance or irresistible force making me do the very thing I'd vowed never to do. After about the third time (I'm a slow learner), I decided it was better not to utter the cursed phrase. So, with that in mind, here's a list of books that I can't see myself ever having a desire to read. Some of them, I'd rather have my fingernails pulled off then to have to read:

1. The Twilight Series (or any series where vampires sparkle...)

2. Going Rogue by Sarah Palin
3. Politically based books in general...I don't care what party they're from

4. Any novel that involves Jane Austen's characters and zombies (or ANY classic literature and zombies)

5. Shoot, any book that involves zombies. I'm not a horror lover and I have a particular distaste for zombies.

6. The Hunger Games series (not interested in the least, sorry)

7. Anything written by Jerry Falwell or other severe religious nutcases (I'm religious. I'm pretty devout....I believe there's a difference).

8. The Janet Evanovich "number" series. I'm sorry, but those neon covers absolutely turn me off. I don't care how funny they are.

9. Any current true crime...I don't care for the idea that somebody is making money off of someone's very real tragedy. I'm not a big fan of true crime anyway...but if I'm going to read it, I want all the participants (both victim's close family and friends and the criminal) to be long gone.

10. Anything more by Milton. I detested Milton.
Paradise Lost in college was plenty, thank you.

**Please note that I'm not out to offend anyone with these choices. If you love Twilight or Hunger Games or even Milton, more power to you! They just don't happen to be my cup of tea.


bibliophiliac said...

Go ahead--offend people!;) I agree with most of what you say, especially about political books. Partisanship has taken such an extreme tilt toward rage-filled absurdity--there is no reason in it any more. But I did read a zombie book and like it, and I almost would have said never on that one....

Red said...

I hate political books. Even if I agree with the viewpoint I think the books are disgusting to read. But as you said, never say never

Misha said...

Some of the books are on my list too.Infact the others would have been too if I had made a longer list.I can't handle vampires either and I dislike books that try to destroy classics.

Suzanne said...

I'd like to try Palin's book, just to see how the other half lives, but I know I'd be frustrated with most of it (I tried an Ann Coulter book a few years ago and I just couldn't go further than about 50 pages)

Great list.

danya said...

I am not into zombies either (and combining Jane Austen's work with zombies/vampires/your choice of creepy creature is practically sacrilege!)

B said...

I agree with you sentiments on Milton. Paradise Lost was MORE than enough of him for me in this lifetime!

Irene Palfy said...

Awesome list! :") I agree with some of them (including zombies and Jane Austen!!)

Kayla + Cyna said...

I'm the opposite on #2, if it involves zombies I am so there. Classic literature and zombies? Even better!

SO YES on #8. They may be good or whatever, but those covers make my eyes bleed. Can you say turn-off?

Needless to say, God yes on Twilight. Gag.

IngridLola said...

My husband loves Milton but I'm too much of a feminist to read Paradise Lost. :)

Emily said...

Great list Bev. I swear, if I see one more book that mixes Jane Austen and the undead I am going to loose my mind!

Roof Beam Reader said...

Lol. Yeah, we're pretty well agreed on everything (except I did enjoy The Hunger Games).

Roof Beam Reader said...

And... what about "Little Women and Werewolves" and the others? Is it just the Jane Austen + Zombies that you don't dig. I'm pretty sure there's an "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" out there too. ;)

Anonymous said...

I feel like we all said, wait, don't get offended! with all of our lists. LOL. It just proves everyone's tastes are different, that's all!

I mean, that's how most of these books exist anyway.

Anne@HeadFullofBooks said...

Your list with my comments:
1. The Twilight Series ...I could only finish the first book. That was enough for me.
2. Going Rogue by Sarah Palin...this one's on my list, too.
3. Politically based books in general...take a look at my list
4. Any novel that involves Jane Austen's characters and far I've resisted these too. Boys, however, who wouldn't read Auten enjoy these spoofs.
5. Shoot, any book that involves zombies. I don't do scary, either.
6. The Hunger Games series...I love this series. Very good YA lit.
7. Anything written by Jerry Falwell or other severe religious nutcases ...I'm very spiritual also but I cringe at the thought of small-mindedness.
8. The Janet Evanovich "number" series. ...OK, I admit to this silly pleasure.
9. Any current true crime...I do enjoy True Capote's In Cold Blood and some Ann Rule.
10. Anything more by Milton. ...never read any of it.

Bev Hankins said...

@IngridLola: yeah, Milton & feminism don't go together real well...

@Roof Beam Reader...No, it's not just Austen & the zombies. I'm pretty much against taking any classic lit and mixing in the supernatural (zombies, werewolves, vampires, etc). Why mess with a good thing? And, good heavens, Little Women & Werewolves??!!!! Yikes!

@Anne Bennett: I have to admit I did like Capote's In Cold Blood when I read it for a nonfiction course in college. Even though I felt like someone had driven a truck through my middle while I was reading it. I doubt I would have picked it up if it hadn't been required reading, though.

Tahleen said...

Nice list! Though I have to say The Hunger Games were pretty good, though it went downhill after book 2 I think. Also, totally agree with you about the religious nutcases—I'm very Christian, but COME ON. Be nice (and sane), people! They make Christians look bad.

Lu said...

Great list! Twilight also made my list! Your comment....The Twilight Series (or any series where vampires sparkle...) made me laugh, and think of something a friend had posted, about Twilight or one of the male characters Twilight? Just thought I would share as it was funny. I DO NOT intend to offend anyone!
He is a vegetarian, he lives in the forest, and he sparkles! He IS NOT a vampire...he is a FAIRY!

Teacher/Learner said...

I thought of putting Milton on my list, too, but honestly can't think of anything he wrote other than Paradise Lost. That was a bane of college reading for me, too! Thanks for commenting on my blog :o)

La Coccinelle said...

Nice list! I don't really disagree with any of them. As someone who vowed never to read The Hunger Games and then went and enjoyed the first two books enough to be itching to read the third one... well, sometimes you have to eat your words! LOL

I've also got Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in my TBR pile, but I bought it ages ago, long before every piece of classic literature had been altered to include supernatural creatures. I'm still trying to get through the original Pride and Prejudice, so it'll be a while before I see how zombies fit in with Regency England.