Who Done It?

 Who Done It? (2013) by Jon Scieszka (compiler/editor)

Synopsis from the book flap: Can you imagine the most cantankerous book editor alive? Part Voldemort, part Cruella de Vil (if she were a dude), and worse in appearance and odor than a gluttonous farm pig? A man who makes no secret of his love of cheese or his disdain of unworthy authors? That man is Herman Mildew.

 
The anthology opens with an invitation to a party, care of this insufferable monster, where more than 80 of the most talented, bestselling and recognizable names in YA and children’s fiction learn that they are suspects in his murder. All must provide alibis in brief first-person entries. The problem is that all of them are liars, all of them are fabulists, and all have something to hide...

Let's start by saying that this was an admirable project--get 80ish authors to help put together a book that will be sold to benefit a nonprofit group that encourages young creative writers. That's a great project. I applaud it most sincerely. In theory, a whodunnit which featured 80 suspects all providing alibis and ostensibly letting the reader figure out the solution to who killed the odious Herman Q. Mildew, the editor of nightmares, sounds like a real winner. I was all ready to put my "little grey cells" to work and try to outwit the authors and discover the murderer.

However...

Please note that I cannot continue that thought without completely spoiling the book. If my one-star rating doesn't scare you off, then you probably won't want to continue reading until you've read this for yourself. 

However, this is, in my opinion, a huge hornswoggle. There is no cohesive plot. The reader will not pick up clues among the authors' alibis. There is no way to figure out "whodunnit" because [Here's the SPOILER] Herman Q. Mildew is NOT dead. Nobody killed him. The whole book is a sham. Now, if we believe some these authors, there have been some deaths along the way (and bless them for that because I can still count the book for the Medical Examiner Challenge) but none of those were Mildew. This could have been such a great project if, following in the footsteps of The Detection Club, there had been a real plot, a generally agreed-upon setting of the scene, and then the authors had proceeded (round-robin fashion) to write up their alibis--their side of the story, adding what details they might and those that followed need to take those new details into account. Then the reader could have sifted through clues laid down in the framing story as well as the alibis and had a chance to determine the killer. As it was, this was the biggest disappointment I've read so far this year. The only thing (well, things) that save it is that it was for a good cause and David Levithan's poem/albi which is a terrific send-up of a William Carlos Williams poem.  ★ for those two things.

First line: Ladies and gentlemen...and I use those terms loosely because I know you are all writers and illustrators...we have a bit of a situation.

Last line: You hold the answer to that question in your hands
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Deaths = 4 (one natural; one fell from height; one food poisoning; one frozen to death)

A Local Matter

A Local Matter: A Murder Case from the Notes of George Howard, Secretary to Lord Alfred Tigraines by John McGrew Bennett. This was really quite awful. The Scotland Yard Inspector was so wooden and not at all engaging. His interactions with various characters seemed to me like they ought to be spoken in monotone (at least that's the way I heard it in my head). Lord "Tiger," the one who does the amateur bit and figures it all out....well, he's an interesting character EXCEPT as an investigator. I mean, he didn't really--investigate that is. And then he played it all Sherlock Holmes (not revealing anything till the very end) without the charm of the Holmes stories. I just can't really think of anything redeeming about the book at all. And I was all prepared to like it because, again, it promised me a scholar as the victim. That didn't even wind up being true....can't tell you why, though. It'd spoil the ending. Supposing you still want to give it a try. One and a half stars out of five.

Disappointing Reads

Here's the Booking Through Thursday question for the week: Name a book or author that you truly wanted to love but left you disappointed. (And, of course, explain why.)

I have a couple. The first is The Sonnet Lover by Carol Goodman. I picked this one up because it was an academic mystery. The book blurb made it out to be a real literary puzzler. Did Shakespeare pen a series of passionate sonnets, unknown to modern scholarship? And what will people do to possess or suppress them? After reading the book, I decided the better question was: Do we care? The opening line reeled me in and then wound up being the best part of the thing. "The most thankless job on the planet may well be teaching Renaissance love poetry to a group of hormone-dazed adolescents on a beautiful spring day." If only the rest of the book had been as good. There wasn't even a decent mystery to help out with the fact that I had a total lack of interest in the characters.

The second is Arthur & George by Julian Barnes. I love Barnes. I've loved and devoured every other book by him that has come my way. It was given to me by a dear friend whose taste I respect. I wanted to love this one too.....but I just couldn't. I found this one a very hard row to hoe. I kept plugging away at it, but was bored stiff. It seemed to me that Barnes was trying his hand at writing a "major work" and just filled up space writing as much as possible about what little he had. An epic story, needing 400-500 pages, this isn't. But Barnes thought so. I've read other novels based on Conan Doyle's life that were much more interesting and involving. I guess that's the sticking point for me....I never felt involved in this book the way I had in his previous work.

Two for One

Here we go--two reviews for the price of one.

First up: The Sonnet Lover by Carol Goodman. I picked it up at the library book store because it was a scholarly mystery--my weakness. Meh. Not nearly as enchanting as I was led to believe by the book blurb. "Did Shakespeare pen a series of passionate sonnets, unknown to modern scholarship, ardently praising a mysterious dark-haired beauty?" The better question is: Do we care? Not so much. The best part of the book? The very first line: "The most thankless job on the planet may well be teaching Renaissance love poetry to a group of hormone-dazed adolescents on a beautiful spring day." If only the rest of the book had been as good. Predictable. Not nearly as exciting as anticipated. Not even a decent mystery to help out with the total lack of connection to the characters. I'm really torn on whether to keep this or not....anyone who knows me knows how hard it is for me to give up a book. AND it's got an academic setting and a scholar as the main character. But I think this one is destined to be re-donated to the library store. Two stars out of five.

Next: The Casino Murder Case by S. S. Van Dine. I can always count on Philo Vance to deliver the goods in his detectin' (his lack of "g," not mine). The saddest part about having found & read this very hard to find Golden Age story (one of the treasure trove from this week's book bonanza) is that I think I only have two more Philo Vance stories to read before I'll be all done. Another great series finished. I'll be in the same state as when I realized I'd read the very last Lord Peter Wimsey. "What do you mean there aren't any more???" The casino story has a whiz-bang finish (to keep in line with the American genre of the time), but knowing Vance, I wasn't nearly as surprised as his companions were at how things wound up. I will say this (without giving too much away, in case anyone out there is dying to try this one out)...it's an interesting twist on the poison murder. Or at least an interesting twist on what the murderer wanted you to think had happened. I actually got the method before Vance did this time--unusual with these stories. Glad I had this one to read and take the bad taste of the sonnet book out of my mind. Three and a half stars out of five.

Oh, and by the way, updating the book-binge tally: 7 used bookstores and 30 books so far (in three days). Included in that book total is 7 pocket size editions!

The Knowledge of Water...I Think I'll Forget It

While at times this book was "lushly erotic" in writing, overall it was a major disappointment. If it was meant to be suspenseful (with the mysterious threat to the lovers), it failed. If it was meant to be mysterious, it failed. The best I can say for it is that it captured the time of the flood fairly well. But then...many a historical novelist could have done better. And NO (in reply to one of the critics on the back of the book) this could NOT be the next Name of the Rose. Not even close.

This is one library book store find that will find itself re-donated. That doesn't happen often with me & books...