It Can't Be My Grave

 It Can't Be My Grave (1984) by S. F. X. Dean

Professor Neil Kelly is back in England. He's just written a spectacular scholarly book on John Donne (which has even sold movie rights!*) and his British publisher wants him to make a big splash in the London literary world as well. They want to throw huge parties and book him on the William Wisdom show (only the most-watched face on British TV). Neil really doesn't want any of it--though it would be nice if his book would do as well here as in the States. In the process he meets eccentric business tycoon Sir Gordon Fairly (who incidentally owns his publisher).

Sir Gordon is convinced that an anonymously attributed sixteenth-century tragedy was really penned by his ancestor, an obscure writer named Lucy Goodman. He plans on funding a production of the play, putting Neil's friend actor Hugh James in charge and featuring Hugh's wife, actress Sheila. All he wants from Neil is for him to prove Fairly's theories about authorship correct. Oh, and one other thing, maybe even prove that Shakespeare murdered Lucy while he's at it. Neil is skeptical about the first part and very certain there's no chance of proving the second. 

Neil finds himself liking Gordon and is willing to listen to more of his "proofs." In very short order, he spends a lot of time with this man he just met. He even gets invited for a ride in the the businessman's Daimler limousine--eccentrically decked out like drawing room with tapestry-upholstered antique armchair, Aubusson carpet, artwork, and fancy gold drapes. Sir Gordon also arranges to have his daily mail delivered straight to the Daimler via private courier. Scholarly mysteries turn into a murder case when a letter bomb (or three) is later delivered to Sir Gordon with fatal results.

It's hardly surprising that Sir Gordon has collected a fair amount of enemies (including within his own family) on his way to the top--single-minded men (and women) often don't mind who they tick off while they get on with their objectives. Neil is a little surprised to find that Scotland Yard seems to think he might be included on that list. But after all, it is a little suspicious how much time he spent in Fairly's company given that he says he just met the man...Neil even has his own personal shadow, Detective Inspector Thomas Bowie. The question is will Neil or Bowie discover the murderer first?

So...this book should be right up my alley. Professor as amateur detective? Check. Throw in an interesting literary mystery on top of the murder plot? Check. Set it in England? Check. Witty dialogue? Check. But. Other than the professor how many of these characters are interesting? Not many. Bowie is good and makes for really good dialogue when he's talking with Neil. Does Neil Kelly actually do much of anything in the amateur detective line? Not really. All the suspects (for no reason that makes any real sense) come and talk with him and clues get thrown at him, but does he actually put two and two together? Nope. We got Bowie for that--and kudos to Bowie! I hope Sinjin (his boss) gives him the appropriate accolades. Neil Kelly's sole purpose (as far as I can tell) is to receive confidences and serve as a sounding board for Bowie to bounce things off of. And Neil is the recurring character here, folks. The book blurb makes it sound like our dear professor is hot the trail and coming up with "brilliant solutions" but I'm afraid it just ain't so. One other minor complaint while I'm at it...what's with that title? If anyone can read this book and tell what the title has to do with the plot, then I'd be very grateful. It sounds spiffy. It sounds like a quote from something (if so, Google couldn't tell me what). But I just don't see the connection...

The plot is decent and I did like the the set-up of not one....not two...but three letter bombs being used. The consternation it caused among the lab boys and Bowie's description thereof was worth the price of admission. But I'd like to see our recurring amateur sleuth do a bit more detecting if I pick up another of this series. Especially since, when Scotland Yard does a bit of check-up on him, they find that his hometown police chief calls him "a goddam super-sleuth" and that he's been hobnobbing with the London Metropolitan  Police force and the Devon constabulary in previous cases. Surely to goodness he does more than just act as a conduit for suspects' conversations... Had high hopes for this one, but in the end it's just a middle-of-the road read for me.★★★

*This is how we know this is fiction. How often does that happen?!) 

First line: After more than a year away from it, London felt good.

Last line: She still wasn't smoking, and she was starting to enjoy it.
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Deaths = 5 (one natural; one letter bomb; two car accident; one gunshot)