Top Bloody Secret

 Top Bloody Secret (1969) by Stanley Hyland

When the lights on Big Ben do some odd flickering on a night that Parliament closes early, the Night Custodian of the Houses of Parliament makes a very nasty discovery. Tom Rendle, a new man on the night shift, has been brutally bashed over the head and left seated on the Sergeant-at-Arm's bench in the Chamber. And the ceremonial mace is missing. It doesn't take much to decide what the weapon must have been. It's tricky enough to have to bring Scotland Yard to the seat of politics to investigate the first murder in the House of Commons since 1812. But when the investigation also reveals that a Top Bloody Secret document regarding nuclear secrets and the existence of a new aircraft has been tampered with MI5 has to get involved.

While Scotland investigates the initial murder (and those that follow in its wake), MI5 sends agents to Belgium, German, Greece, and Turkey to try and track the opposition to their source. But it is Sir Hubert Bligh who is sent on a top-secret mission to find out what happened to fellow MP Austin Lombard and to stop a nuclear disaster if he can? But with agents just barely missing out on the capture of enemy agents, explosive (sometimes quite literally) situation following explosive situation, and people on both sides dying right and left, will Bligh be in time?

What we have is a kind of Keystone Cops meets Inspector Clouseau meets a slightly parodied version of James Bond. There are absolutely hilarious interactions between characters and in the efforts of each branch of the investigation (the Yard, MI5, and Parliament) to keep the others in the dark as much as possible. Share information to speed the work? Don't be silly. It all makes for some laugh out loud moments and great commentary on Cold War era espionage in action. But does it make for a great mystery? Not really. 

While the scenes are funny in and of themselves, Hyland switches between players in fast and furious fashion and it makes it difficult to keep up with the action (with or without a scorecard). I was often left behind at the post and struggled to keep track of who was tracking whom and who exactly had the upper hand in each situation. The kaleidoscope of action shifts so often that I was convinced that anything could happen (and so often did), so when what I'm sure was supposed to be a huge surprise happened at the end it didn't surprise near as much as Hyland probably expected it to. The penultimate surprise was actually a bigger shock--but only because, in the frantic shifting about from scene to scene--I couldn't actually remember one of the major participants ever being mentioned before that particular chapter. It was like being told that Elton John was coming to pitch for the Cubs. ("What? I didn't even know that he was in the stadium, let alone that he knew how to play baseball?!)

So, yeah. Not the all-time greatest mystery. But Hyland creates characters and situations that are memorable. There is the makings of a good mystery, but I think he got a little too involved in making the hole-in-corner spy story as convoluted as possible. I'd really like to see what he does with a straight mystery story...if that is to be had in either of his two other detective novels. ★★★

First line (Prologue): The rifle fire was sporadic but getting nearer, and very quickly.

First line (1st chapter): Constable P. Wiltshire of the Metropolitan Police counted the arches of Westminster Bridge.

"They can't."
"Can't be careful! They've got to be."
"They can't send a gunboat. They say they haven't got one handy. They say they're sorry." (Tom Slaughter, agent; Malplaquet, his boss; p 75)

"Just doped." Bligh muttered it. He was wondering what would happen in London if a whole group of M.P.s were found to be doped. The idea began to appeal to him so he brought the shutters down quickly. (p. 111)

The car when it arrived, exactly an hour later, looked as though it ought to be wearing dark glasses. (p. 112)

Last line: "Lucky for some."
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Deaths = 9 (five hit on head; one beheaded; one throat cut; two shot)